I wish for every man and woman to read this story. Please understand this is a very graphic story but I needed it to be so that you could get the full picture. Abuse is not pretty. Whether you or someone you know has been victimized or just would like to get more educated on sexual abuse, this story is a must. It will help you realize that you are not alone. We must all come together to keep all children safe. As parents of a child who has been violated, I can tell you that the need of support has been critical in healing. This was the hardest thing I've ever written. Please forgive me if there are errors in spelling or punctuation however this was not written with the intent to be perfect, it was written with the passion to share the truth and to begin to help others by understanding this can happen to anyone. Please feel free to contact me at cherylmeis@hotmail.com. I would love to hear your story. It helps to talk about it, trust me. My healing is a continuous process.

OUR STORY:

When I was 17, I had sex for the first time with my daughters father. He was 25. The first time I ever had sexual relations I got pregnant with my daughter. When Melanie was 5 years old, I was physically and mentally abused my Melanie's dad. After almost 10 years of it I decided to leave. Being the controlling man he was he went for custody of our (2) children, not because he wanted them he had no means to support them and never even held a job. This was to pay me back for leaving him. I moved out and in with a girl friend. While the children were visiting their dad who was staying with his parents the children were kept from me and court battle took place. The court ordered me custody. For a year after that I allowed visitation with his parents. One day, my partner was bathing Melanie after one such visit, when he noticed a bad rash on her vaginal area. He couldn't believe his eyes. It looked prickly and red in color. He yelled for me to come at once. When I saw it, I started to shake. I questioned my 6 year old.

She said in tears "grandpa did it mommy."

I gasped. I asked her "what did grandpa do?"

She replied "I can't tell you, mommy. He will make you dead."

I knew then that my worst fears had come true. The things you only hear about on TV or in the newspaper. I called 911.

They sent over a very nice social worker to talk with Melanie. Since she was so young they had to handle this very delicately. To make a long story short, Melanie had been sexually molested by her step-grandfather (her father's step-father) for 2 years. He would take her for drives in the country and stop in fields and molest her. He would show her pornographic pictures and movies and say "see, everyone does these things." He would masterbate on her and then throw a towel at her and say "here, you clean the shit up." He would shove his penis down her throat and make her swallow his sperm and she would gag and not be able to breath. He would insist she keep it in her mouth. It was horrible to say the least. The police arrested her grandfather and he confessed. He said he had caused enough pain. Too bad he hadn't thought of that before. He served a little over 8 months in jail with 10 yr probation for her life in hell, the hell that would haunt her forever.

We thought this was the end. We got justice, for whatever it was worth.

To help Melanie try to heal, we moved to my guys fathers town in Houston, Texas. We seeked therapy for Melanie, but it seemed to really not help. Melanie and I would then have weekly sessions together, a healing time. It helped. Our lives seemed to be good. For once in a very long time, we could wake up and notice the trees and flowers and what month it was. Our dark days started to turn brighter.

From there we moved on back to Norfolk, Virginia, where the abuse had happened. Since my husband was raised there and all his connections for work, mother and other relatives lived there we figured it was best. So we did. Money was very tight, we were both young, so we rented a 2 bedroom trailer. It was a very small trailer but, hey, it was home. I decorated it the best I could. The bathroom was so small. The washer and dryer were in there with the sink, toilet and tub. That was it. But we made do for years.

My husband was a driver for a moving company. He was becoming very successful. We were able to move away to a beautiful part of Virgina, Roanoke. In the mountains, our dream place. We went to church, we had a child together and we were a family! We had the American dream. I adored him! He was so good to me and my children. Melanie began what I thought was rebelling at 12 yrs old. She would be so rude to her step-dad and to me. One morning at breakfast, she came in and she smart mouthed Michael (that was his name). I remember spanking her all the way down the hallway to her room, saying "this man has given you everything, how dare you disrespect him. You will never raise your voice to him again". And she didn't.

What happens next is beyond belief. It will make your skin crawl as it has mine.

It was a Thursday in 1989. The children as usual got up and left for school. I watched them as they walked skipping along through the school field which was in sight of our home. Looking at the mist on the grass, I thought this is the life. I am so happy. Michael left for work. I felt like Donna Reed, really. I had it all. Three beautiful children and a dream guy and a view of the mountains.

That afternoon, everything in my life would change forever. Everything I thought that was real would die. My life would be forever disfigured.

Melanie came running home after school. She was yelling "mommy, mommy" I still can't get that sound of her wail out of my mind. I ran in fear something had just happened to her, little did I know it had been for a very long time.

She said to me "mommy" in an almost baby like voice, "I have to tell you something mommy... Please don't hate me please!!!"

I said "what melanie! Tell mommy what??" Thinking to myself, "oh ok so you failed a test, you got detention for not behaving."

The next words out of her mouth, were the second most horrifying things I had ever heard in my life! "MY GOD WHAT MELANIE," I said "tell me."

She said in just a loud screeching blurt, "Michael has been molesting me mom!!!!!"

I went blank. Could it be possible? The very man who made me aware of her grandfather? The very one who watched me crumble to nothing when I learned of what happened to her prior? I just stared at her and said "WHAT???" I hurried her into our home. I said what Melanie "what????"

She said "mom, Michael has been molesting me."

I looked again at her as the tears began streaming down my face, "when, how, where," my face getting flush, my voice starting crack and my legs buckling from under me.

She said "mommy it has been going on since we moved to Texas."

I couldn't take what I was hearing. I paced. I felt so many emotions all at once. I didn't know what was happening. It was as if it was being told me told to me in slow motion.

She said "I wasn't going to tell you but I had to, now." She went on to tell me she was scared. She had her period for about 8 months and she didn't know what it took to get pregnant, so she asked her friend at school who she then confided in. From there her friend talked her into going to the school counselor. She then asked the woman if what they discussed could stay between them. The counselor swore it would never leave the room. Melanie began explaining what her step-father was doing, before she finished the second sentence, the women picked up the phone and dialed the social services. Melanie felt so betrayed. Melanie again felt an adult could do her wrong. She said to the women, "what are you doing??"

She said "Melanie I must report this by law, I must."

Melanie started to cry and beg "oh please, no." The woman asked her if her mother knew. She said "NO!" The woman said well we must tell your mother. Melanie begged to please allow her to tell me, Melanie wanted me to hear this horrifying news from her own mouth. She knew I was fragile. She knew I had been in bed sick with a break down years before. She knew what this was going to do to me.

The woman agreed she would allow Melanie to tell me. But she stressed "it must be done today, social workers will be at your home tonight."

Melanie began to explain to me all of what had happened to her. How Michael started molesting her in Texas, while I worked the graveyard shift at Dennys restaurant as a waitress. I remember being so mad at her for locking her door to her room and told her never to lock it again. I said to her "what if there was a fire and I needed to get to you Melanie." Little did I know she was trying to protect herself. Those thoughts come back to me. She told me that when we moved back to Norfolk in that trailer we made our home, he would place her up on the washer and dryer and he would perform oral sex on her and make her on him. That small bathroom.

She said that it started to get even worse, if you can imagine worse at this point. She said lately that he would come in her bedroom late at night, after bringing me hot tea and a snack and rubbing my hair softly with his hand to sleep. He would enter in the dark room with a pillow, while she was asleep or sometimes just pretending to be asleep acually laying in fear, knowing what was about to happen. He would quickly place the pillow over her face to were she could hardly breath. He would then pull down his pants with one hand while holding the pillow firmly with the other, he then would pull her pants down and rub his penis on her vagina. She knew what he was doing, she would squeal with horror. He would tell her shut up. He would then spread his sperm all over her. She would just shake and cry and pray. She would ask God why?? Why again?? Why me?? Why??

He would often remind her of my fragile state and how this would end my life, my sanity, and how it would make me hate her for telling. She kept this secret for 5 years. There were so many things that happened then to her. He was so cruel and so hateful in his acts.

At that point I called on a friend of mine, John, to come to my place and to take Melanie for an ice cream cone. I told her she must go and let me handle this. I never doubted her story. I hugged her tight and I told her I loved her. She left.

I was enraged!!! I picked up a picture of him and I smashed it against the wall. It seemed to happen in slow motion. The sound of the glass breaking. I called him on the phone at work. I told him he needed to get home now. He begged to know why, what was so urgent. I said "it is about my child, now get home, damn it,now!"

He said "I am on my way!!!"

I then did the worst thing I could have ever done! I called his mother and grandmother in Norfolk. I told them what I knew. They said they would be on their way. God, I wish I could go back and change that call! I said "but that is a 5 hour drive," but she said they would be there in four.

Michael arrived home in a panic. His face was pale and his voice firm.

"What is going on" he said.

I said "Michael, you have been molesting my daughter!"

He denied it a very short time. I told him I was going to take her for tests and they could tell if he had any body fluids on her. He then began to cry and tell me "yes ok, I did it."

I wanted so much for this to be a bad dream. I told him to get out!! "Leave" I said! He did.

His mother arrived with his grandmother four hours from the time I called her. She heard from Melanie, who had arrived back home shortly before, what had happened. She seemed to be a bit taken but not really shocked. Little did we know when he was 15 he had been convicted of sexual abuse of a 10 year old girl he had been baby sitting .

She started to tell us how this was going to destroy our lives, how we could get counseling, how they would take my children because this had happened before. Melanie and I started to panic. Not knowing what to do. Knowing reality was it could happen, social services then called. I was so scared. I live for my children, I thought i cannot lose them, never. They told me they needed to speak with Melanie and would arrive Friday at 10 am. I just said ok. We hung up.

Michael's mother then asked her mother to go in the room and play with the other children while we talked. She complied. Michael then called again. He had called every half hour since leaving. His mother talked to him and told him he should come over so we could get all the facts and straighten this mess out. I was ready to hear anything at this point. I didn't want to lose my children. My God, what would I do without them I thought.

When Michael arrived, Melanie went back with the other kids while we talked with his mother at the kitchen table. She stressed to him she needed to know the truth so that she could help. I look back now and think "yeah so she could help her son."

She said "we must tell Melanie to tell the social workers this was not true. That it was a dream she was having from her former abuse."

I agreed. "Anything keep my kids" I thought. But I agreed with terms. Never was he to date anyone with children, never was he to be alone with children, and he had to get therapy. So we talked to Melanie, who already wanted to stop all this from going any farther. She and I were very close and the thought of being seperated was not thinkable. We went along with the story. We stayed up all night long going over and over again what she would say. The next day when they arrived she told them our version of the story. They questioned her for 3 hours and left. They then came back and questioned her again and then they left. They notified us by letter that no charges where going to be filed. That the charges were unfounded.

Melanie and I rejoiced. They weren't going to take my kids!

My mind at this time was racing. I was in a deep shock. My world was gone. My marriage was dead. I was mourning having my family back. It was like truly a death. One minute your world is so happy, the next it is torn apart.

So, after several weeks, we decided to try to get back as a family, that in a marriage you must forgive. I tried. I could not make this work. I hated him so badly. I was having thoughts of how I could kill him painfully. I was so mad. Then I had a flashback, one I had not had before. The thought of me slapping my child down the hallway as I was telling her to respect the very man who had violently molested her the night before. I was at a new stage. You know, everything goes in stages. So I wanted a divorce.

We did divorce.

But we still had to keep this secret. We kept the secret for years, while Michael kept that letter, it was his freedom, his lifeline. He kept it neatly folded in his wallet from 1989-1996. He knew. He knew that one day Melanie and I would know we weren't the criminals. We would not be seperated.

It was 1996 when Michael met and moved in with a women who had 3 little girls, aged 6, 8, and 10. Melanie and my hearts stopped when we learned of this. Melanie, now a mature 17 year old, said "Mom, I must tell, I must protect these children."

I said "Melanie how? They cleared him. No one would ever believe you now." Then I remembered something my mother said to me many times, "if there is a will there is a way." I was determined to find one, and I did.

I went to Radio Shack. I bought a small tape recorder, and I became very friendly again with Michael. It sickend my stomache. I hooked my device to my phone and I called him. I told him I still loved him and wanted him back. I was so sick with disgust at my words to him. I told him I wanted to leave my husband and come back to make our family work the way it used to be. But, I told him that I had a problem letting go of what you did to Melanie. I learned alot that day. I learned all the years when I thought what was I blind, how could I sleep through her squeals for my help. Only that day did I find out by his own words that he was putting NYTOL in my tea at night! You know to help you get your Z's. I was horrified. Oh god. He told me he needed to tell me that because he knew I was living with unwarranted guilt.

He then went on to say "Yes, I molested Melanie but I am well now, I read a book. I know I am better now."

I thought "yes, I got him!" I was an genious!!! I did it.

Shortly after, Melanie pressed charges and because of the tape and, believe it or not, his mother who testified to what she knew. He was convicted! He was convicted! Melanie again got justice. We went to court he pleaded not guilty. The judge didn't buy his story that we convinced him these things happened. He sentenced him to 18 months in jail and 18 yrs probation. No contact with minors under 15 and he now wears an ankle braclet to monitor his every move. Shortly after the monitor was removed.

Oh by the way he is back with the woman with the three childen. He is allowed now supervised visits to her home where she resides with her girls. So we have a lot of work to do on the probation end of sexual abuse cases. See update at the bottom of this story. Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves, they always do.

As for the moral of this story, sometimes we can't get justice when we would like to. Sometimes we need to play the waiting game. Maybe sometimes we have to be stonger than scum who makes us feel we are the criminal. Sometimes we have to picture ourselves in a situation where if someone was entering your home to do you harm would you fight back?? It is nature to fight back. But at times we feel if we know the person we can't fight them! That is wrong. You have the right to live a good, safe, loving life. We all have that right! We deserve the right! We are innocent and we have to fight! Why let him/her win? Why not stand up and say No more!! Michael knew Melanie was a cooperating victim, he used that to intimidate her into another time of hell.

My daughter lives with this everyday. She now has four children of her own.Three girls and a boy. That frightens her, she wonders how to keep them safe. She is now in nursing school ranking head of her class. She has made her life good. She is a married to a wonderful and patient man named Roman. She tries very hard to move forward. She says she will never forget. I say none of us should ever forget. We should all work to keep our children safe from every type of criminal that is out there preying on our children.

We as society must try to figure a way to punish these pedophiles. We have said "let's castrate them so they can harm no more." Don't you see, with the castration we would also need to take there eyes, so they could not pray on our young, there hands so they can touch the children, there legs so they can run no more and there mouth so they can't threaten and intimidate them. What are we really saying then? We must remove the molester from society. Once a molester always a molester, that has been documented.

My idea that I feel is the very best and intelligent way to handle such persons. I think not to take away there genatals, but to tattoo them with the words child murderer on it. You ask why?? I say because when a child is victimized the perpatrator rips their very soul out of their bodies. They take their life and deprive it from happiness and safety and all the things children should feel specially trust. They no longer feel safe in this world. They sometimes go on to become the very thing they fear.

When the pedophile looks down, let him not remember because the genitals are gone, let them remember for what is written on him/her CHILD MURDERER! It is too easy to forget when the reminder is gone, such as in the case of the genitals. Let them never know the joy of love and making love. As the children who carry the scars will never want to experience it. The pain of what they live with, they shall carry all their lives. It will be more in there memory every time they meet a man/women who they want to get close to and can't because of the horrifying reminder of what they are and always will be and was is written.

Just remember this:

Justice will be served. It will be! It may take longer than you want. It may take that child becoming an adult to be no longer influenced. But one day, the hand cuffs will be taken off of the child and be put where they belong, on the molester!!! And then the healing will begin!

We may forgive, but we will never forget!

UPDATE: In 2007, Michael while on probation got caught giving horse riding lessons to underage children in Dallas, Texas. He was sent back to prison where he is now serving 18 years with no chance of parole.

UPDATE: I was just informed on May 30, 2009 that Michael Lerch will have a parole hearing on July 9, 2009. I will keep you updated to what becomes of it.

UPDATE: 2011 .. Michael is still in prison. He has been denied probation each and every time he went before the parole board. HOWEVER, he will be release in 2015.

UPDATE: 2011.. It is with sadness I must report that my daughter, Melanie and her husband lost their home back in 2010 due to financial hardship. My daughter also became addicted to prescription drugs after several bouts of viral meningitis. Her children went to live with her husbands sister and she and Roman were homeless. After he was caught shoplifting in a convenient store he was sent to jail and then a rehab facility where my daughter was then left to fend for herself on the streets of Austin,Texas. I tried desperately to help her but soon the money for hotels became overwhelming at nearly $100 a night. I tried to get her to come here but she wouldn't move out of Austin in fear she would be too far from her children. Over a year later and she is still on the streets. She is still addicted to many drugs now and we no longer have a relationship. There is not a night that goes by that I do not cry or wish her home. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't cry or pray that she calls me. I was informed the girl that my daughter walked the streets with Sheryll Lynn was murdered a few months ago. Found naked and with a brick to her head in a ditch. I am in fear for Melanie. I love her. I often wonder if this is a result of the years of abuse. I often wonder could I have done more? Should I have done more? Why do I feel so guilty? But then I need to snap out of it and remind myself we all make choices. Melanie had dreams. She has an angelic voice and would have been a terrific singer, performer. She started singing at the age of 4. People would stop and listen to her voice as she sang with perfection. She could have made a difference for other victims. I guess time will tell if she decides she wants to live. I pray she does. Thank you for listening to my story!
Cheryl

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